10 things that happen when you move down to London

1.  You acquire ‘The Knowledge’

From the second you move to London you become an expert on the city, and within days you talk as though you have lived there for years. Everyone has an opinion, whether it’s where the best place to live is (even though they’ve probably never even been there) or a great restaurant to take someone on a date. You also pretend to know about that place your friend is talking about, and then retrospectively look it up on google afterwards so you can pass on this newfound knowledge to someone else.

2.  Views on tourists change

Born with this incredible ability to get in your way when you’re in a hurry (which is all the time), they have also been known to take up too much room on the tube with their oversized backpacks.  On top of this, they have no issue with stopping dead right in the middle of a busy street to take a photo of something with no relevance to anything!  All in all, pretty irritating and a real inconvenience. Oh, and they walk slowly too.

3.  The grass becomes so much greener

After living here for a few months, everyone starts to long for England’s pleasant pastures green, away from the concrete jungle of the city. Then, within minutes of your escape to the quiet countryside residence, you start to wonder why you can’t hear the constant murmur of sirens and traffic outside, or how anyone can survive living somewhere without any phone signal.  How is it possible to have fun if the only local pub shuts at midnight anyway?

4.  You take London for granted

Everyone moves down to London with the intention of going to exhibitions, museums and visiting all the landmarks.  And why not? After all, they are all on your doorstep! Unless you’re trying impress someone who doesn’t live here it is unlikely that you will spot a Londoner sight-seeing. No-one really knows why this is the case, maybe it’s because they are full of tourists.

5.  Thursday becomes the new Friday

Going out on a school night, spending an obscene amount of money on alcohol and turning up to work on a Friday morning with a tongue dryer than a camel’s urethra is an essential part of life in the city.  If you’ve just moved down to London, you’ll learn to embrace this pretty quickly!

6.  London’s parks become your garden

Having a garden is a luxury in London and if you are one of the ‘lucky’ few, the only person that would actually call that overgrown, grotty plot a garden is your dodgy lettings agent.  Londoners overcome this hurdle by residing in one of London’s many parks during the summer months. BBQ’s, drinks and music are all essential to London park life, as is wearing as little as possible if the sun decides to come out.

7.  You develop an unhealthy obsession with travel time

A Londoner’s attention to detail planning their commute to work is staggering. Knowing that it takes 4 minutes and 28 seconds to get from your home to the right part of the tube platform to ensure a quick exit on the other side is vital for anyone looking to survive in the big smoke. Military precision is a must – some have even been known to secretly race against other commuters.

8.  Manners go out of the window

Let me put it this way, if you try to make conversation with someone on the tube, most people will think you are a bit odd! While your first month of commuting on public transport is rather exciting, it isn’t long before you become accustomed to frowning at everyone, burying your head in today’s Metro and completely over-reacting at ‘that guy’ in front who gets trapped by the ticket barriers (probably a tourist).

9.  You learn to love the bus

Ok, so they aren’t the most glamorous mode of transport but they are the unsung heroes of London. Be sure to sit upstairs at the front –  it’s like getting the best seat on a tour bus without loosing any street cred.  N.B. Don’t squeal with excitement when driving over London Bridge admiring the iconic views of St. Paul’s Cathedral and the Shard whilst the sun rises over Tower Bridge; it’s truly spectacular.

10.  You become a patriot!

In the past 2 years, London has hosted a royal wedding, an extravagant river pageant for Liz’s Diamond Jubilee and the Olympic Games, putting our city in the spotlight across the world.  We are experiencing London is at it’s very best and being down here right in the thick of it makes you incredibly proud to be a Londoner and a Brit. So while we might seem moody, rude and miserable when we’re out and about, rest assured that secretly, we are loving every minute.

7 thoughts on “10 things that happen when you move down to London

  1. Great article Alex – good to see the blog up and running and can’t wait to see the next set of posts.. 🙂 Keep up the good work!!

  2. I love this. And I agree with almost all of it, other than the tourist part, I still love them, they appreciate anything you tell them.
    I write about London, I would love to guest post this on my blog of have you write something for me and my followers. I would advertise your post and blog in turn. If you are interested let me know.

  3. Great article although obviously I’m too much of a Londoner for number 8 – for me good manners entail not talking to people you don’t know unless you have to!

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